What a bunch of foolish billies!

Progressive Caucus City Council members are backing a slew of out-of-left-field payments, ranging from the doubtlessly harmful to the downright wacky, a Post evaluation discovered.

Some of these payments push for standard-issue progressive pipe desires, such as abolishing the NYPD’s gang database or setting a $30 minimal wage.

But 13 payments rely as Grade A wack-a-doodle doozies — from banning elephants to letting pet homeowners take sick go away if their canines are sick — by The Post’s reckoning.

Sick canine? A invoice would enable New Yorkers to take sick time to take care of pets. Getty Images

“They want the world to know this is what they believe in and this is what they fight for,” said Zilvinas Silenas, president of the Empire Center, an unbiased think tank.

“They’re putting up a flag to say, ‘Hey, I’m the council member who’s all in on organic eggs” or, ‘I’m the council member who actually cares about elephants in New York.’”

Democrats maintain a supermajority on the Council, with a vital bloc of progressives – but the payments would want to first advance beyond numerous committees before they go up for a vote by the full lawmaking physique.

Here’s what lefty Council members need New Yorkers to know where they stand.

Sick go away for pets

Fido having a ruff day?

New Yorkers won’t have to select between going to work or taking care of a sick pet if a invoice sponsored by Councilman Shaun Abreu (D-Manhattan) is handed.

City legislation at present doesn’t enable employees to use accrued sick time to care for a sick pet or service animal — a state of affairs that forces uncertainty if they want to take break day for veterinary care.

“This bill would clarify that caring for a sick animal is a legitimate use of already earned sick leave and does not create any additional leave entitlement,” a memo in support of the invoice states.

The invoice would tweak the metropolis’s sick go away legislation, permitting employees to take time to care for some — but not all — sorts of animals.

Animals “kept primarily for companionship” — as in, pets and service animals — would fall under the tweaked legislation.

Farm animals like barn cows, however, would have to moooove apart.

Abreu isn’t half of the Progressive Caucus, but the invoice has backing of lefties such as Councilwoman Tiffany L. Cabán (D-Queens). He informed The Post the laws doesn’t develop the quantity of sick days obtainable, it only gives employees more freedom in how they use them.

Free-range eggs only

What does this invoice have to do with the value of eggs?

Nothing, but it has a lot to say about what sort of eggs New York City municipal businesses can purchase.

A invoice by Councilman Harvey Epstein (D-Manhattan) would prohibit metropolis authorities from shopping for eggs that aren’t natural or free-range.

Progressive Caucus City Council members are backing almost 30 out-of-left-field payments, a Post evaluation discovered. James Keivom for NY Post

“We want to make sure that the city is providing good, nutrient-dense, safe food to the people it’s serving,” Epstein said.

“Organic eggs are better for human health, with three times more unsaturated fats, 40% more vitamin A, and twice as much vitamin E compared to the USDA standard, and free-range eggs are also thought to contain superior nutrition. Following the lead of states like Florida, Ohio, and Kentucky, New York City should implement guardrails to keep people safe and healthy.”

The memo succinctly argues that eggs from caged hens are the merchandise of cruelty, noting the hapless birds are confined to areas smaller than a single sheet of letter-sized paper.

Self-service checkouts

No less than one worker for every three self-service checkouts, please!

Councilwoman Amanda Farías (D-Bronx) is pushing a invoice to positive pharmacies and meals retail shops up to $1,000 per worker every day that self-checkouts are not correctly staffed.

The correct workers ratio, as outlined by the invoice, is one employees per every three self-checkout machine.

And it also requires that shops impose a 15-item most for the machines.

Both strikes would assist fight retail theft, a scourge that drives up the price of meals and important items, a memo supporting Farías’ invoice states.

“Reinvesting in staffing is good for revenue, for jobs, and for consumer confidence,” the memo argues. “We must fix the system, rather than continuing to pass the cost of preventable losses onto New Yorkers who are already struggling with the affordability crisis.”

Farias added, “Retail theft has been a challenge for our city since the pandemic, and we have been working to address it from every angle. This legislation is another piece of that work.”

Elephant care

RIP, Happy the (allegedly sad) Elephant.

The lengthy life of Happy in the Bronx Zoo lumbers in the background of a invoice by Councilwoman Shahana Hanif (D-Brooklyn) that prohibits preserving elephants in the metropolis, unless strict situations are met.

A new invoice would ban preserving elephants in the metropolis, unless strict situations are met. Brigitte Stelzer

Elephants saved in the metropolis must have at least 15 acres of usable habitat where they can forage for meals or water, the invoice stipulates. Female pachyderms must also be saved in teams and allowed to type herds, and likewise for males.

The necessities also emphatically state: “The elephant must not be mounted, ridden, or forced to do labor.”

‘Hostile architecture’

Does that bench look … hostile?

So-called “hostile architecture” designed to hold homeless individuals from resting or sleeping — such as spiked platforms or many-railed benches — across the metropolis would be focused in a invoice by Councilman Christopher Marte (D-Manhattan).

“In 2017, 2021, and 2025, the MTA removed numerous benches from train platforms and replaced them with metal leaning bars; again, targeting the homeless population,” the invoice’s memo states.

A invoice would ban the NYPD’s gang database. Paul Martinka

“Hostile architecture, however, affects everyone, not just the intended target. In the case of the MTA’s leaning bars, multiple riders have expressed concern about the issue of accessibility.”

The invoice, however, would take no motion other than require the metropolis’s planning division to conduct a examine within 18 months of it changing into legislation.

Abolishing NYPD gang database

A dumbfounding 25 City Council members are sponsoring a invoice to abolish the NYPD’s gang database.

Lefties typically think about the database racist, but police officers — not least NYPD Commissioner Jessica Tisch — argue it’s a important crime-fighting software, with 1000’s of entries and intel including distinctive tattoos linked to legal teams and gangs.

Police Commissioner Jessica Tisch argues that the gang database and particular NYPD unit are important public security instruments. Paul Martinka for NY Post

A spokesperson for invoice sponsor Councilwoman Althea Stevens (D-Bronx) said the lawmaker has seen firsthand how the checklist unfairly targets black and brown individuals.

The checklist doesn’t have checks to make positive individuals on it have legal histories, the spokesperson argued.

Handcuffing the NYPD’s Strategic Response Group

Another 26 Council members have signed onto a invoice to prohibit the NYPD’s Strategic Response Group from deploying during First Amendment-protected protests.

SRG has lengthy been a progressive bugbear, with opponents — including Mayor Zohran Mamdani — contending the unit recurrently brutalizes protesters and tramples their rights. The specialised unit responds to civil dysfunction and main occasions, including parades and protests. It’s also deployed for main crime occasions, such as financial institution robberies, shootings and lacking individuals.

Police officers such as Tisch argue the unit performs a important half in preserving protests from descending into violence.

Setting a $30 minimal wage

Lefty Council members need to set the Big Apple’s minimal wage at a very max $30 an hour.

The invoice launched by Councilwoman Sandy Nurse (D-Brooklyn) would almost double the metropolis’s present baseline pay of $17 and have an effect on as many as 1 million employees.

Progressives have lengthy called for a minimal wage to hold up with the metropolis’s excessive price of dwelling, but enterprise leaders warn it’ll be a expensive catastrophe for employers.

Gender-affirming gadgets for jail inmates

Transgender inmates in metropolis jails will be ready to request “gender-affirming items” under one proposed invoice.

“These items include, but are not limited to, wigs, hair extensions, chest binders, tucking undergarments or gaffs, and prosthetics,” a memo in support of the invoice states.

Union officers have slammed the proposal, sponsored by lefty Brooklyn Councilwoman Crystal Hudson, as doubtlessly harmful for corrections officers.