Lindsay Clancy wrote in her journal two months before killing her three younger children that she was “so desperate to get a mental break from taking care of everyone,” jurors discovered at her homicide trial Monday.

The 35-year-old Boston-area mother documented having “horrible insomnia and anxiety” and being wracked with guilt over her alternative to cease breastfeeding her 8-month-old son and sleep practice him in journal entries before the homicide.

On Nov. 18, 2023, two months before she strangled her children with elastic exercise bands, she wrote: “It’s like I’m so desperate to get a mental break from taking care of everyone that my mind is trying to make something physically wrong with me.”

Lindsay Clancy wrote in a journal that she was “desperate to get a mental break from taking care of everyone,” jurors discovered. Facebook / Lindsay Marie Clancy

“I want help. I want to be well,” Clancy also wrote in the journal, which had entries starting Oct. 13, 2022 and ending Jan. 18, 2023.

The excerpts were learn to the jury during the testimony of Massachusetts State Trooper Cory Melo who was the last witness Monday afternoon following whirlwind testimony from 12 medical doctors, cops and nurses who took the stand earlier in the day.

Melo collected the diary and other journals and proof from Clancy’s Duxbury, Mass. house.

Clancy, a former labor and supply nurse, killed her youngsters Cora, 5, Dawson, 3, and 8-month-old Callan on Jan. 24, 2023, before she tried to kill herself.

Clancy is arguing that she was struggling postpartum psychosis and that she did everything potential to get assist before she killed her children — but she misdiagnosed and overmedicated.

Her attorneys need her acquitted of homicide.

Clancy is accused of strangling her three children. Facebook / Lindsay Marie Clancy

Earlier in the day, the jurors heard from psychiatrists who saw Clancy during her month-long keep at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston recovering from her suicide try, which paralyzed her.

The psychiatrists testified she was cooperative, and didn’t seem to be struggling from suicidal or homicidal ideas.

Forensic psychiatrist Jhilam Biswas saw Clancy once on Jan. 26, 2023 when she was sedated and intubated with a respiratory tube just before Clancy was scheduled to have back surgical procedure.

When Biswas requested about Clancy’s temper she wrote back: “Horrified.”

“Is my body broken? Are my legs straight?” Clancy also wrote to Biswas.

Prosecutor Jennifer Sprague requested Biswas about the reality that Clancy had requested if she had an legal professional and the reality that Biswas didn’t notice seeing any indicators of psychosis in Clancy.

Prosecutors are making an attempt to show she was chilly and calculating just days after carrying out the murders, rather than struggling from a psychological break.

Clancy’s lawyer needs a jury to discover her not responsible by purpose of madness, on the grounds she was struggling from extreme postpartum psychosis. Facebook / Lindsay Marie Clancy

Clancy’s lawyer, Kevin Reddington, requested Biswas to confirm that she only saw Clancy one time and it was only for 20 to half-hour to assess if she was a danger of suicide before she went into surgical procedure.

Reddington also requested Biswas if it was potential for Clancy to have appeared regular while struggling from psychosis.

“For some people, they can have moments of clarity, absolutely. And for some, it can be more continuous. It really depends on the patient and their illness,” Biswas said.

Another psychiatrist, Sejal Shah, who saw Clancy several occasions over the course of a month, said she didn’t report suicidal or homicidal ideas and said she was cooperative and trying ahead to being transferred to a rehab facility.

Reddington also pressed Shah about the reality that someone can appear regular and still be experiencing postpartum psychosis.

“People can communicate and plan and act on plans even if they are in the middle of a psychosis, right?” Reddington requested.

“Yes,” Shah responded.

Clancy wrote in her journal her struggles with postpartum, nervousness and darkish ideas. via REUTERS

“You don’t have to be drooling and stumbling and unable to walk and talk to be in a psychosis?” the protection legal professional requested.

“No,” the psychiatrist affirmed.

Shah also testified that Clancy requested for her well being proxy to be modified from her husband, Patrick Clancy, to her mother and father, which she was allowed to do a day after she was out of a post-sedation delirium.

Clancy requested to signal a DNR, or a “do no resuscitate” type, which she was not allowed to do at the time since she had just tried to kill herself, Shah defined.

The first two witnesses of the day were medical doctors who advised the jury about their determined makes an attempt to save child Callan. The second physician, David Casavant, testified about the choice to take the toddler off life support three days after Clancy strangled him.

Clancy also saved meticulous notes about the prescription psychiatric medication she was on and the “horrible thoughts” she had on the medication. Greg Derr/Pool The Patriot Ledger via AP

Callan had regained a heartbeat but he wasn’t respiratory on his own and he was mind lifeless, Casavant — an ICU physician at Boston Children’s Hospital — testified.

But after in depth mind checks, that were repeated a second time 24 hours later, Casavant and neurologists consulted with Patrick and everyone agreed to take the toddler off of a ventilator on Jan. 27.

Clancy could be seen dabbing her eyes with a tissue after Casavant completed testifying.

Clancy despatched Patrick out to run two errands and killed her children before chopping her wrists and neck and throwing herself out of the second-story window of her bed room.

She shattered her backbone, changing into paraplegic and has been showing in court docket in a wheelchair.

Clancy’s husband, Patrick Clancy, came house to uncover their youngsters were strangled. USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect

The first week of trial last week saw Clancy sob in court docket during gutting proof, including an anguished 911 call that Patrick made when he discovered his lifeless youngsters and when prosecutors confirmed the jury the pajamas that the youngsters were carrying at the time. The jury was also proven the elastic bands used to kill the children.

Clancy also wept when medical doctors last week testified about their failed makes an attempt to revive Cora and Dawson at the hospital.

And one veteran cop cried on the stand when he recounted discovering Dawson and the other children lifeless in the basement of the Clancy house.

If you are struggling with suicidal ideas or are experiencing a psychological well being disaster and reside in New York City, you can call 1-888-NYC-WELL for free and confidential disaster counseling. If you reside outside the 5 boroughs, you can dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 988 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org.